There is no -- such thing as -- Plan B
I was offered a new job last week. And, I did not take it.
There is pretty large part of me that feels like a rotten mother to have taken a pass on a less stressful part-time job. After what I said I should have been grabbed it?
A little earlier than that post I was in conversation with a dad of a young child who outlined how his partner was at home since she was not, and I quote, a careerist. What the hell is that? A careerist? I got non-careerist envy right away. You know me, who can't quite hunt down a job with twelve resumes and a nanny. Me, who has only worked one of the last 4 years, well, now one and a half. Please don't get me wrong I'm not out to slag dads for their perceptions of 'careerism'.
I told the folks who'd offered me the job the truth. I am committed to things I just can't depart right now. So when? The hidden gift of the position was that it was a 3 year term. It made me try hard to picture where I need to be in 2012. I realize now that I really have a pile to sort out over the next 3 years. I am not sure where I need to go but at least I have a better idea of how long it might take me. Trying to transition to tomorrow in time for yesterday had been entirely soul-sucking.
I remain, yours, until after the revolution, Mo-wo
There is pretty large part of me that feels like a rotten mother to have taken a pass on a less stressful part-time job. After what I said I should have been grabbed it?
A little earlier than that post I was in conversation with a dad of a young child who outlined how his partner was at home since she was not, and I quote, a careerist. What the hell is that? A careerist? I got non-careerist envy right away. You know me, who can't quite hunt down a job with twelve resumes and a nanny. Me, who has only worked one of the last 4 years, well, now one and a half. Please don't get me wrong I'm not out to slag dads for their perceptions of 'careerism'.
I told the folks who'd offered me the job the truth. I am committed to things I just can't depart right now. So when? The hidden gift of the position was that it was a 3 year term. It made me try hard to picture where I need to be in 2012. I realize now that I really have a pile to sort out over the next 3 years. I am not sure where I need to go but at least I have a better idea of how long it might take me. Trying to transition to tomorrow in time for yesterday had been entirely soul-sucking.
I remain, yours, until after the revolution, Mo-wo
Labels: momism, the work experiment
posted by mo-wo at 8:08 p.m.
3 Comments:
Careerist? What an odd term. If someone called themselves a careerist I'd assume they were biased against long term gainful employment.
I don't even want to think about 2012 -- I can barely wrap my mind around 2010 and all the stew-ped Olympic hype/expense.
Congratulations! It's nice to be wanted, even if it's not by exactly the right people at exactly the right point in time.
The "careerist" comment is really funny. I remember when I went back to work after my third baby was born, I was interviewing a foreign exchange analyst. He said his own wife decided to stay home with their daughter "because she felt she had accomplished all she wanted to accomplish in the working world."
I'm not sure he understood that I was being sarcastic when I said, "Oh, how wonderful. I guess the reason the rest of us work is because we are still desperately striving to accomplish something -- anything at all!" And it was a phone interview, so I don't think he noticed my stifled laugh.
For most of us, it's not a question of "accomplishment." We take it day by day, while always keeping the long-term big picture in mind -- and we hope all the medium-term details will just work themselves out.
I find the term careerist is never a word one chooses; it is always a word that is taken away from someone, most notably mothers, ala "She wants to switch the part time to be with her kids? I guess she's not a careerist." It's a way of saying failure without having it come off as a slight. Erg.
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