The Long Way Home

The extended Wo family is close by. Once a year we drive 5 or 6 hours to see my MIL but apart from that I only have to deal with 'are we there yet?' over a span of 20-40 minutes.

Next week one of my best friends will journey home to see her family 5260 miles away. Since her husband just started a new job he will not be going along. I wish I could go with her and help with her 3 year old boy and one year old girl. Bless 'er my friend's sister has come to help her travel east, she'll be solo west. That is a long trip.

Duo, or especially solo, there is dread. I mean it doesn't matter if you have a kid "disconnect" in flight for 20 minutes or 2 hours, it can be dreadful. All you can do is your best, right? Gather some tools, be prepared, spin the cylinder of cabin-pressured humanity and live to tell the tale. I remember being a fellow passenger with little people back when I had a travel-life. If your kid is mostly behaved and you pay attention you are a great traveling parent. No one expects 10 out of 10; most cabin mates are realistic.

I wish I could help more than a sticker book and some understanding. The librarian in me is out for some intel and info, too. What is this blog for? Please share with me -- and my friend -- any tips, tricks and warnings you can. Activities, must pack toys, divine distractions, breathing techniques, what-have-you...

Bon Voyage, J. I am so happy for you and your family that you will all be together SOON. Here's hoping it's soon enough.

Travelogue Three: Steal this Tire. Please!

We told everyone, it just happened. But we must tell someone the truth. We'd been driving on that pimpled front right radial for months and months and months.

But we didn't say that those 10 times we had to address the topic last Tuesday, the day it blew. Blew on our road trip home from holiday. In the midst of our nap hours planned return trip home whilst it was 31 degrees....

But blew whilst parked in the Starbucks parking lot. Yes, we shit horseshoes.

So there we were chuffed and thanking the Lord that we were safe and in good proximity to a.) endless coffee supplies, b.) fresh tires and c.) the car loving good Samaritans. 'Cept one thing.

The average pasty, sloven urban van piloting couple seems, even from the comforts of the Starbucks parking lot, to have a snowballs chance in hell of putting on a spare whence said tire might blow, for:

1.) though the tire is tantalizingly visible on the undercarriage the bolt to release it is like finding the entrance to Tutankhamen's tomb. Though I tried I just simply never played quite enough Tomb Raider to deduce that sort of shit.

2.) Should you locate and release said tire -- how do you get the jack out, factory tight as it is?

3.) Should you procure the jack and release the tire then there is the key. You know the key?? The special bolt ombot that is shaped not like a regular lug nut but like a pea pod, or nicole ritchies head or a flea track in a windstorm or fucking whatever... the special nut you need the key for of which there are only 25 world wide. The one assigned to you with your vehicle that you are sure to put your hands on in two seconds by sifting it simply from the chaff of a four day family of four road trip holiday full of tents and sleeping bags and people and diapers and shit and three coolers, count em three coolers?????

The key you have because someone might steal your hubcab/rim otherwise. My opinion... STEAL THIS TIRE! Just let us change a flat in the traditional seven steps. . Roll out spare. Jack. Nut-Nut-Nut-Nut. New Tire! Nut-Nut-Nut-Nut. Roll away naughty tire. Unjack it. Drive drive away.

I thank in order of importance for our sanity through the ordeal
The Good Samaritan
Lollipops
The dudes from Kal-Tire
Pingu and the laptop
Three -- count 'em -- three food coolers. Don't ever say I overpack again! I am preparation incarnate!!!
Starbucks, cause even preparation incarnate needs caffine and a cookie or two
The van even though it was the root cause of all the trouble it was also our salvation. Who knew? Vans as duplicitous in their blessings as the Catholic church.
The old woman who said I was so lucky to have two good kids (can she send a memo to their grandmother who we had just spent four days visiting?)

*****

The Good Samaritans Refrain

I wanted his card just so I could post the following on craigslist
I'd never hire
that lawyer.
That Ron Myer
Can't even change a tire.
What a liar.
I mean lawyer.

******




SheVANigans

Travelogue One: Road Trippy won't leave me

There is an stretch of road between the Coquihalla toll booth south to Hope BC that is the penultimate of beautiful.

The mountains mix rock and treed slope in a proportion so sublime as to remove any manner of annoyance to the provincial tourism slogan, Super, Natural British Columbia. Winding the road downhill towards the comforts of journey's end; a whirring effortless glide into the valley and over the bend to where the Fraser River will symbolize home. We saw 8pm on the clock. Two spent travelers nestled in car seats; at last silent was the slumbering. The light lay low there as the peaks grew shorter and slighter round each corner. Leaving something behind to be home again.

Blue skies of summer day dying in to the coral kiss of a seaside sunset more familiar from the shore than the mountain tops. Light soft yellow, a darkening of each trunk of every tree in the thousands. Giving dimension to the smallest features in the broadest landscape it seems imaginable.

***

We're back after a pleasant holiday. More to come.

Hello, Portland!!!

Hi all.

By which of course and especially I mean Portlanders. A charge to inform, please.

My near dear friend is going to your environs Sunday. She will be breaking her back for some sort of camp, drive, family love-in plus friends wedding tour with her two boys, 2 and 4 and her dear whatever may care spouse.

It is required on this trip for her sanity, and perhaps the safety of the boys, that she get two good hours shopping in Portland. Where can she go??

The query is: A great and interesting shopping area with a sideshow for the men-boys close by? Where do you do that?

You need not be a Portlander to apply for this offer. Any and all intel is highly sought after. Thanks!

ps.. she is a beautiful statuesque blond who always needs clothes yes, but she also loves to garden shop and select nice things for her stylish home.

Bon Boyage

Last week I traveled across the wee Salish Sea from Vancouver to Victoria. I traveled solo with my 3 1/2 year old and my near 2 year old.

It was waaay-hey-hayyyyy outside my comfort zone. I am the queen of over-doing the luggage and homepacked snacks in triplicate. I am a TV-phobic helll-ie-copter parent and a half really. How would I survive? I couldn't even use the van? Gasp!

Thanks to the fine catering supplies available through Starbucks, yahoo Happy Planet smoothies! And Allah be praised on board Little Bear broadcasts at the perfect time it was smooth sailing for us. So what they didn't really have a meal for two days? They loved visiting Uncle Wo. It was worth it.

In fact, I would say it was all good news. I discovered how much more my kids can do when not in the straight-jacket of my normal routines. I was, to be honest, pretty proud of them. That is certainly good news for them.

My favorite part? Had to be my boy who would extend a hand and bark 'stick together!' A solemn pout making clear that he feels that the process of sticking together begins at the palm. I'm with you little man. Anywhere you go.