Hallelujah, A Poo Post
Mo-wo just said: we need a post. You have 2 in draft. I do not wish to type a blog. I want to sleep, or watch blood sports on tv, or eat a container of ice cream whose hippy dippy name is reminiscent of a 'guitar god' whose heart-attack death-while-at-rehab is on my mind as the pain in my left arm increases as the spoon nears the bottom of the container... can. only type. with one hand.
I have heard of those parents who can handle anything their babies throw at them from sharp knives to midnight three alarm cacafuego. I am not one of those parents, blessed as I am with a healthy baby with better sleep habits than me, whose endurance has truly been tested. My luck is still holding out.
These last five-odd days have been a bit of a change as e has had her first gastro-something or other. If bilious sheets weren't blowing out her cakehole the very structure of her diapers was being tested in a manner not seen since she was taking her brand new colon for a drive and said structure was found to be wanting. The main differences between now and then being a) volume and b) the olfactory impact. Most of you already knew this, but I didn't. I mean, I knew, I just wasn't thinking about it. I haven't been puked on this much since I stopped puking on myself. I have never before seen fecal matter comprised of what must have been mashed newspaper, avocado, and snot. Maybe a vegan smoothie, I don't know.
In any event, e kept her spirits up throughout, for which I am grateful, even while she was getting teenage model thin, and did her best to endure her worried parents. She has now returned to her old ways of eating food-type things and expelling the waste in solid form. I have seldom been so glad to see a stool as I was today. I am still glowing. I may save this product for some kind of Eric Estrada memorial to breeding. The photos are at the lab. I am no poolologist, or doctor or whatnot, in fact I am pretty sure I had a point to make about gratitude, about e's recuperation, maybe even a message , yeah, an inspirational message. But I got carried away looking for images of pachyderm excrement online and any point was lost. My apologies.
P-man.
I have heard of those parents who can handle anything their babies throw at them from sharp knives to midnight three alarm cacafuego. I am not one of those parents, blessed as I am with a healthy baby with better sleep habits than me, whose endurance has truly been tested. My luck is still holding out.
These last five-odd days have been a bit of a change as e has had her first gastro-something or other. If bilious sheets weren't blowing out her cakehole the very structure of her diapers was being tested in a manner not seen since she was taking her brand new colon for a drive and said structure was found to be wanting. The main differences between now and then being a) volume and b) the olfactory impact. Most of you already knew this, but I didn't. I mean, I knew, I just wasn't thinking about it. I haven't been puked on this much since I stopped puking on myself. I have never before seen fecal matter comprised of what must have been mashed newspaper, avocado, and snot. Maybe a vegan smoothie, I don't know.
In any event, e kept her spirits up throughout, for which I am grateful, even while she was getting teenage model thin, and did her best to endure her worried parents. She has now returned to her old ways of eating food-type things and expelling the waste in solid form. I have seldom been so glad to see a stool as I was today. I am still glowing. I may save this product for some kind of Eric Estrada memorial to breeding. The photos are at the lab. I am no poolologist, or doctor or whatnot, in fact I am pretty sure I had a point to make about gratitude, about e's recuperation, maybe even a message , yeah, an inspirational message. But I got carried away looking for images of pachyderm excrement online and any point was lost. My apologies.
P-man.
posted by p-man at 7:15 p.m.
2 Comments:
So glad E's on the mend.
And "cacafuego?" I have GOT to find an excuse to slip that one into a conversation...
Quite possibly, the most erudite poo and vomit baby post that I've ever read. Kudos to you, p-man. Glad little E has returned to the glorious world of calcified feces!
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