Monday, June 26, 2006

Ass Wednesday Delayed Is Ass Monday

This correspondent would like to provide the esteemed readership with a reasonable explanation for the delayed Wednesday post. Mo asks so little of me yet I consistently fail to meet even these modest goals... As I said, I'd like to, but I cannot. In any event, you don't care, and if you do, you really shouldn't, so... so there (he says trimphantly)!

Last Tuesday I had a day-long partners' meeting with my former employers, now partners. It was a gruelling day of water-skiing and golfing. I don't water ski and while I own golf clubs they are normally used as ballast in the trunk of my car to prevent skidding on the moisture-laden roads of Vancouver and its environs and for little else.

Before you rush to judgment about the devil-may-care, fun-filled day I must have had, I will share with you something I learned about water-skiing (after 25-odd years off the boards): middle-aged men whose exercise for the last years has consisted of swimming, lifting infants, and sitting behind a desk, may lack strength in their so-called core area. A strong core, as it is known to fitness buffs (yourselves included, I am sure) is vital to ensure injury-free water-skiing. While I have the body of a newly 38 year old man (and this is an average- I have the mind of an 18 year old and the liver of a 60 year old) after all the "fun" I developed the lower back of, I don't know, Quasimodo. While there was not much of this there followed a lot of this. Suffice to say I am not a happy person right now. Suffice to say Mo was not thrilled by the symptoms, which included grimacing and whining.

As for the golf, I believe it was Twain who said: Golf is a good walk spoiled. Enough said.

Lest the casual reader conclude this post is naught but a pity party hosted and attended solely by this writer (typist, whatever) I should probably tell you about my cold. For nigh 3 weeks my head has felt as though it is stuffed with cotton. But it isn't cotton. It's snot and lots of it. It's green. It tastes terrible. I don't think it is at all appropriate to have this come out of your sinuses. Or this. I was able, in this land of socialized medicine, to locate a physician who could tell me all about my snot.

The good doctor put me on some kind of nasal steroid, which does little I can detect besides cause numerous nosebleeds. My left eye, which should appear thus , looks like this. If this goes on much longer I would settle for this. And a side of snot.

P-man out.

3 Comments:

Anonymous CroutonBoy said...

That's pretty much my feeling about golf, too. And the last time I water-skied I gave my nose an enema. Nothing like reliving the experience in front of business partners, eh?

1:55 PM  
Blogger p-man said...

Ah, good times.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

Too funny, my friend. If there are two words that I never would have associated with The P-Man, those words would be "golf" and "water-skiing." Good lord, man! Don't your partners know ANYTHING about you?

Hope you're feeling better and not blowing gremlins out your nose!

8:28 PM  

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