Oh! A comeuppance moment
Or... Oh! So that is how it feels....?
A couple-ish friend had us over for breakfast a few weeks back, bless 'er/'em. She is not so much a friend of mine as the wife of husband's friend. I like her very much for she is way smart, has good taste AND a sense of humour; basically, has the trio of traits I believe compose a significantly worthwhile human. For this I overlook that she is ANOTHER lawyer. I believe I might oneday expire from a surfeit oflampreys lawyers. But I digress.
So, while visiting this lovely, attractive, kind and talented chatelain who practices baby-injury/death-law I was told a horrific baby death story. Go figure. It began "since you have had your baby now, I suppose I can tell you"... X lawyer related case Y about a labour as follows. "Do you believe that her labour was going pretty well fine, then at the very last minute the child asphixiated?" They say it was 3 seconds and then the baby died after what was otherwise a perfectly healthy pregnancy and labour.
Then she said...
"Stories like that make me happy that I will be having a caesarean. I mean it really is the safest way."
Her telling me this did about 10 things to me. Made me all hairy baby teary about a mother facing a stillbirth. Had me reflect on my 'natural childbirth' track record. Further, put me in awe of how this woman ever manages to have her own children if this is the stuff she reads at work. It sure set me wondering about my own inner 'urban myth meter' -- do I believe this?? I would rather not.
But, the most postable aspect of what the effects really were was that I went... "Oh!" -- then nothing more. It was entirely a comeuppance moment for me. After all the banter there is about the best way to give birth I had never thought 'oh, Caesarean, you are right, that probably IS the BEST way. I did it wrong.' So if anyone one the C-sec side of the fence has ever had a moment where they listened to the doubt duelling (disparate) birthplans can engender -- which I think some of you have written about -- consider me, a bit more in the 'I catch your drift' camp than I had been previously.
A couple-ish friend had us over for breakfast a few weeks back, bless 'er/'em. She is not so much a friend of mine as the wife of husband's friend. I like her very much for she is way smart, has good taste AND a sense of humour; basically, has the trio of traits I believe compose a significantly worthwhile human. For this I overlook that she is ANOTHER lawyer. I believe I might oneday expire from a surfeit of
So, while visiting this lovely, attractive, kind and talented chatelain who practices baby-injury/death-law I was told a horrific baby death story. Go figure. It began "since you have had your baby now, I suppose I can tell you"... X lawyer related case Y about a labour as follows. "Do you believe that her labour was going pretty well fine, then at the very last minute the child asphixiated?" They say it was 3 seconds and then the baby died after what was otherwise a perfectly healthy pregnancy and labour.
Then she said...
"Stories like that make me happy that I will be having a caesarean. I mean it really is the safest way."
Her telling me this did about 10 things to me. Made me all hairy baby teary about a mother facing a stillbirth. Had me reflect on my 'natural childbirth' track record. Further, put me in awe of how this woman ever manages to have her own children if this is the stuff she reads at work. It sure set me wondering about my own inner 'urban myth meter' -- do I believe this?? I would rather not.
But, the most postable aspect of what the effects really were was that I went... "Oh!" -- then nothing more. It was entirely a comeuppance moment for me. After all the banter there is about the best way to give birth I had never thought 'oh, Caesarean, you are right, that probably IS the BEST way. I did it wrong.' So if anyone one the C-sec side of the fence has ever had a moment where they listened to the doubt duelling (disparate) birthplans can engender -- which I think some of you have written about -- consider me, a bit more in the 'I catch your drift' camp than I had been previously.
posted by mo-wo at 3:45 p.m.
7 Comments:
I had a vaginal birth with Tod-lar and a c-section with Bah-bie. With Bah-bie, I had NO choice because I had placenta previa.
After going through that experience, I would never, ever choose to have a c-section. It was the most horrible pain I have ever experienced. It took forever to recover. And because my baby was in the NICU after birth due to being premature, I couldn't see her for 24 hours because I had just had major surgery.
For me, I would take natural ANY day.
But that's just ME.
I didn't have a c-section. I think it was close to a possibility towards the end of my delivery but I begged and pleaded enough that we tried a bit longer to deliver naturally. I wanted to avoid a c-section. I was under the impression that there are a number of possible complications with a c-section that are just as serious as complications with natural childbirth. I know I need to do more research to speak more about this, but at this point I would still choose natural over surgery.
I had three c-sections (the account of one of which you linked), and so I have nothing to compare them to.
I`d say everything really depends on the patient, and the situation.
My OB/GYN in Los Angeles once said something to me along the lines of, "Considering how much can go wrong with a birth, it`s really a miracle that everything goes right the vast majority of the time!"
I know a gynecologist who had an elective C-section. It stunned me, in part because she said "I'm just not that into birth". Left me thinking "Um, so how's that job of yours?" Of course she and her husband are lovely, doting parents and the child is great. Letting go to how we have done things is very hard. (Must. Control. Universe.)
Well, I didn't polan on a c for Pumpkinpie, but now having had an emergency c the first time, I'd have a planned the second because I figure that way I can get my tubes tied at the same time, all in one surgery, rather than have to risk having one, and then go in for the tubes anyhow. efficiency and all... I'm sure I'd feel way different if it had worked according to plan in the first place.
I liked your phrase "urban myth meter." I'm going to have to use that one of these days... Tends to go off when I read every other friggin email.
It really doesn't matter how we have our kids but simply that we did have them.
Birth is good and no branding need apply
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