Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Report from the Homefront

Dear Dad,

Baby nuthatch over here. A few notes on how Mom is doing.

I know by the time you get home the house will look like a tip all over again but REALLY she did clean house today. At least she tried to clean house. She had to keep a close eye on me too, what with the official onset of my desires to stick everything in my mouth. Oh, yes, and I chose to have two rather slim nappish encounters each less than one hour in duration.

So for the record she did vacuum and wash down the floors. She would normally like to use a bevy of 6 specialized cleansers on the various bathroom surfaces. But, I was sort of getting testy on the Gymini half-way through so she settled for OxyClean on everything. Did you notice the fresh Ocean Marine scent all over? Nice complement to the pantheon of Aquarium Wonders I have added to your decor don't you think?

I know she didn't put away all the laundry you worked on on the weekend but she did keep up with the supply. Yep, she washed up all the new stuff Sister and I contributed for the day. And, made a not too bad an attempt to get through your guys' clothes. The latter makes a pretty considerable pile. Wasn't it you who renamed me Ralph the other day what with the puke I've been spewing all over?

I'll add that it actually was no cinch to put out that hot homemade meal that welcomed you; even, if it was leftovers. Come the supper hour I had a dirty bum and so did Sis. She was full of late-toddler-day-attitude and I was huuuuunnn-gree. You can bet I played the patented angry cry when necessary. Sorry, the stove looks like that still and dusting was non-existent. Sorry, she left the tower of poo for you and didn't get any shopping done. It's really my fault. She ends up spending time with me instead.

She tries hard, Dad. So, give her a break when you get home, kay? And, do me a favour will ya? Help her out with scheduling those coveted showers the boobs get kinda rank sometimes.

Finally, it would be good if we might get around to doing something with her hair next month. It's like the 24-hour relay of peek-a-boo for me with that mop and to be honest I find it a bit too trippy. I think it might be adversely affecting my development. Your call.

Love, Your Son, Baby A.

6 Comments:

Blogger L. said...

Shower.

Haircut.

= GOOD

10:13 PM  
Blogger Mad Hatter said...

Oh yes, the shower scheduling. I bitched at my husband (professor--end-of-term) on Saturday, "I"M JUST LOOKING FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS SO THAT WE NO LONGER HAVE TO COUNT MY SHOWER AS ME-TIME!!!!!"

Frankly, I'm surprised parents get anything doemestic done EVER.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Crunchy Carpets said...

Showers are family time here....I don't get private showers...it is usually two kids and a dog in to talk to me and laugh at my huge nip nips.

Food is 'help yourself.'

10:49 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Haircuts? GROOMING? What do these children want from us?

6:15 PM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

Hahahaha. What a literate little boy you have there!

Seriously? Could have written this myself. Only I have but 1 child and I still never get anything done.

7:58 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Ah, passive aggressive parenting. My favorite.

I'm amazed that you got that much done with two kids demanding all that perfectly good housecleaning time. To me you are a goddess.

5:32 PM  

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