Friday, November 09, 2007

I'm Not the Apolitical Blues (Anymore)

A friend of mine is going to run for office in the next federal election. He will square off against the least popular MP in the city and may, due to that reason alone, be victorious. I would then know an MP. My mind boggles at the thought of what this means for me! What power. What prestige. What horseshit! He will be sitting in a fancy office overlooking the Rideau Canal while I stare out of my New Westminster office at the apartment building across the parking lot. In spring the snow will recede and he will feast on the tulips, the beautiful Ottawa River, taxpayers paying taxes... if it's spring maybe I will see the shirtless colostomy bag guy sweeping his deck and his bag swinging, swinging in the sunlight. Where is my barrel of pork, my free tickets to a childrens concert?

In any event, Mo and I plan to attend my friend's fundraising dinner tomorrow night to, I don't know, give him my after tax dollars and eat chicken. Maybe tofu - it's an NDP fundraiser. Believing that I am apolitical my friend attempted to induce my attendance by promising a performance by a VERY SPECIAL duo from Amsterdam... he had me going. If any party would make the sex part of politics public (and thereby remove the fun) it would be the NDP.

My friend, however, is incorrect. I am not apolitical. I am heavily political. My underpants are made of our nation's flag.

I also assume my family's political habits are normal. Most of us vote some of the time. My grandparents and great grandparents, back when they were alive and in Winnipeg, held memberships to both of the federal parties. (And likely the CCF for all I know.) They went to all the meetings, dinners, bonspiels... I don't know who got their votes.

My dad, a lifelong Vancouverite and basically unilingual fellow, indicates he would like to become a BQ candidate in his riding. For those of you who do not know what the BQ is about, the BQ is a "federal" political party from Quebec. Its purpose is to aid in Quebe's secession from our fair dominion while making some serious member of parliament dough on the way to independence. Vive le Quebec livre! (I support him in his quest although I will not cough up a dime.)

So, I think I may run for parliament too. No party really speaks for me, howver, and I do not want to vote for the lesser of two evils. That would be like voting Democrat in 2006. A lot of good that did!

No, I need a party like the Rhinos. A party that addresses the things I care about. A party which, unlike the Rhinos, exists. Maybe this is it. I am behind at least 50% of their platform.

So much to consider.


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