Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Madonna and Whore

For the record. The most popular gift for Christmas at our house. A combination of the playdough stocking stuffers and my new toaster oven. Happy New Year everyone.

But I'm not one to dwell on the holidays when I could instead discuss my libido. I have been waiting on this question about "Sex after Baby" and dear bon put it out there again recently. The question being if pregnancy/birth/motherhood de-sexualized me.

NO.
NO.
NO.

I have had a an odd secret since becoming mother-woman. It is the sexual liberation. Where others might feel the pains of sexistential crisis after giving birth I have experienced an odd sort of 'feminine virility'.

I don't know if it is a sad fact or not but I will advertise that pregnancy/birth/motherhood was a pretty up-with-sex thing for me. (Where were we starting you wonder.) But I can say that I was never so over my body image hang-ups as I have been in this context. And never was I out for the very manly speedy relationship validation that sex offered as I have been since the kids showed up. I even found birth a bit of a turn on since I rode high (smirk) on the empowerment it offered me; certainly the most distinguished and triumphant moments of my corporeal being. Don't get me started on breastfeeding.... Let's just say I am one hot momma.

On a finer point I do admit that it is quite likely because I am Catholic. No doubt, I found it was a release to finally have sex 'on God's terms'. I shelved the inhibitions of sin or something? Yee-ha.

All that said -- where do we go from here? I mean now we really have done it all. And now? The babies are born. The Vasectom-US is done. My boobs have offered the last of their milk. Where could I possibly come up with some new material now?

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7 Comments:

Blogger L. said...

Um....WOW.

What an amazing revelation. Do you think, would P-man mind if you had sex with ME? I am fascinted and want to share in this empowerment.

Just kidding.

Well....mostly kidding. Like 99% kidding (and I will spare you the other 1%....)

9:27 PM  
Blogger Mad Hatter said...

You hell cat, you! Rrrrroar.

You, no doubt, saw my comment over at bon's. A different experience entirely but I gotta say that I highly recommend thyroid drugs. Better than oysters.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Bon said...

see, i know moments of what you mean, where it's this thing of wonder and fire that beats ever before...and my first pregnancy really did find me revelling in a belly for the very first time ever...

but then pregnancy for me became a terrifying sex-free restricted zone because everything might mean death and collapse, and it takes time to recover from that, and then there's the exhaustion - oh god, the neverending exhaustion of having a newborn, or my second born, at least - and the episiotomy just killed me for nearly a year.

but now, now...we're crawling back. and i kinda long for what you're talking about, long to be the madonna whore even if i'm not Catholic cause damn...it's just a perfect, powerful combo.

maybe i'll slip over to Sleepytown and raid Mad's thyroid drugs...

6:09 PM  
Anonymous cheesefairy said...

...lucky you!

My libido went vacationing a ways back...conceiving #1 son brought it back (it likes a Project) and then breastfeeding made me not so interested in anyone grown-up touching me anywhere. I am sad that with this pregnancy, so close on the heels of the last, I have not enjoyed the second-trimester surge of sex! now! that I did with #1 and I fear for my & partner's sexual future after #2 is born. I just can't be bothered and half the time I can't be bothered to care, either.

I hear women at & over 35 have the best sex. That gives me another year to languish in my mediocrity.

6:07 AM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

Wow. I have to say, I never experienced the pregnancy whoremones, and my boobs were so umcomfy I didn't want anyone touching them, while later on, we found it impossible to find a position that worked well. Gah.

Post-baby, yes, I have body hangups, but I don't really worry about them too much, because I'm not the only one with a belly around here...

11:21 PM  
Blogger Alpha DogMa said...

I love you. Your so funny. My doctor said that once the baby has come to term, sex could induce labour. So for the last 3 weeks of both pregnancies, I was...er...very DEMANDING. More than once I said, "Foreplay has concluded. Let's get on with it." I was BEYOND romance at that stage.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Alpha DogMa said...

I am incapable of typing you're. The punctuation and the extra letter are just too much work -- as evidenced in my last comment. So as persnickety as I am with correct spelling for names, I fly by the seat of my pants in the blogosphere.

10:25 PM  

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