Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Where Am I Going With This?


I have just returned from a quaint ceremony whereby the members of our local bar welcome to New Westminster the newest judges of the various levels of court. Many inside jokes. Many jokes on the subject of jurisdiction. Oh, ha ha ha, I say while inside I wither: I didn't know that. Can anyone here tell?

Meanwhile at home Mo and the kids read books, danced, giggled and occasionally screamed. I can scream. Did you know that?

I am a little freaked out by the contents of my calendar. It is filled with days. Also too as well the days are filled with work-type activities: meetings with partners (which are not so great of late), trials (pretty bad, last year), mediations, and so on. I ask, when will it be p-time? So, anyway, in any event, by the by, work is busy. Trials will soon abound. Of course, there is the issue of my schedule between now, when I should be priming these cases, working the witnesses, marshaling evidence, stocking up on Depends, which is fortunately quite busy(pecuniary self) and unfortunately is also very busy (lazy ass self wishing only to watch daytime tv and stay up at night eating ice cream wearing nothing but my kilt and a Nordiques t-shirt*, and then, when I will of course be standing up in front of judge and sometimes jury attempting to exude and instill confidence in my clients' cause while internally I wrack my mind feebly as I try to remember what Matlock would do.

I have decided the only way to resolve this is to delay the inevitable. I will be flying to Toronto on the 24th. I will purchase a $6 bag of chips from Air Canada and pray we don't crash. I will drive my rental car around southern Ontario luxuriating in its European styling (of the car, not upper Canada). I will visit my grandmother presuming I can make my way to Kitchener from YYZ.

Allow me to state, in conclusion, that George Strombolopidapidopoulos is the latest in a series of truly annoying CBC host-robots to plague the spaces reserved for public discourse.**

p-man out

* With my apologies to the wise and grammatically correct Palinode.
** Michael Enright, Shelagh Rogers, Carol McKay, Sook-Yin Lee, and Priya Ramu come to mind immediately. Peter Mansbridge. And Avri Solomon. From what diseased cosmic womb do these fatuous, self-absorbed numbnuts issue?

4 Comments:

Anonymous Sean said...

What would Matlock do? Ask himself, "What would Perry Mason do?", of course.

9:12 AM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

God, some days I just want to sit around eating chocolate adn watchign fatuous somethings or nothings instead of wroking, too. Why won't they pay us for that?

1:23 PM  
Anonymous cheesefairy said...

Fool! All CBC hosts come from Southern Ontario! Or at least that's where the training camp is. Drive safely & lock your doors.

9:21 AM  
Blogger Mad Hatter said...

Pamela Wallin was a Sask girl and Ian Handsome-man-thing was raised in NB before moving out west.

8:25 AM  

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