90 days
Last week I alluded to my belief that our family life was in need of a bit of 'occupational therapy'. Basically, I am pretty burnt out. Beginning with the realization that I was really and entirely pregnant 4 years ago and running through nearly 3 years of gestating/lactating motherliness waning only a matter of weeks ago it has been a long haul.
A long haul with a significant physical binding up of myself to first my daughter and then my son. Not to mention I suppose the binding up to them for my heart. My children are not what you would call clingy. But, remember, I'm a bit of a momaholic. We are a tight-knit family. I was never one to have a regular away day, hell I have rarely showered in a year.
I didn't always like it, eh? And, I don't know that they did either. Some might say it just isn't healthy and well it isn't.
For weeks my plan was... "Well, I'll be at work soon. That will open things up. It will be good." But now I'm not at work. Last week I confessed there are things I was looking forward to reducing my influence over. The treatment in place for addressing these things is that we will hold on to our nanny for at least 90 days.
90 days where I am not the go-to girl all the time. 90 days where I am to sort my life out. Maybe get a new job. Sort the house out a bit more. Maybe have a shower (not that I'm having them funnily enough.)
I should be in heaven right? I should be refreshed by having so much more time. But I miss my independence. While I am slightly better rested I still am very much behind on the work apart from no longer grocery shopping between the hours of 9 and 11 pm. I still want to collapse at 8:30 leaving the kitchen to p-man. Oddly, not much has changed even with an additional person 3 days a week. Why is that?
If anything has actually changed it is this... You can be sure that any significant sacrifice I've made as a SAHM or Working Mom till now has been suddenly eclipsed. Any mantle of dedication I had seems to have slipped from my shoulders in less than no time at all because I have kept a child care arrangement while not working. (In my own mind anyway.)
It's true what they say. The preschool years really do fly by. And, here I thought I'd be Mother-woman forever.
A long haul with a significant physical binding up of myself to first my daughter and then my son. Not to mention I suppose the binding up to them for my heart. My children are not what you would call clingy. But, remember, I'm a bit of a momaholic. We are a tight-knit family. I was never one to have a regular away day, hell I have rarely showered in a year.
I didn't always like it, eh? And, I don't know that they did either. Some might say it just isn't healthy and well it isn't.
For weeks my plan was... "Well, I'll be at work soon. That will open things up. It will be good." But now I'm not at work. Last week I confessed there are things I was looking forward to reducing my influence over. The treatment in place for addressing these things is that we will hold on to our nanny for at least 90 days.
90 days where I am not the go-to girl all the time. 90 days where I am to sort my life out. Maybe get a new job. Sort the house out a bit more. Maybe have a shower (not that I'm having them funnily enough.)
I should be in heaven right? I should be refreshed by having so much more time. But I miss my independence. While I am slightly better rested I still am very much behind on the work apart from no longer grocery shopping between the hours of 9 and 11 pm. I still want to collapse at 8:30 leaving the kitchen to p-man. Oddly, not much has changed even with an additional person 3 days a week. Why is that?
If anything has actually changed it is this... You can be sure that any significant sacrifice I've made as a SAHM or Working Mom till now has been suddenly eclipsed. Any mantle of dedication I had seems to have slipped from my shoulders in less than no time at all because I have kept a child care arrangement while not working. (In my own mind anyway.)
It's true what they say. The preschool years really do fly by. And, here I thought I'd be Mother-woman forever.
Labels: what's it all about?
posted by mo-wo at 10:31 p.m.
3 comments
