Thursday, May 03, 2007

Make A Wish, Asshole

I am just now recovering from Mo's love-fest of a post, or think-fest, whatever. All this emotionalism, it clouds my judgment, so much so I thought I would enter into the fray. Herein I identify numerous bloggers whose product I read, or have read, and I will name an activity I would like to participate in with them. All will be relieved to note there will be no pig in a blanket-type references. This may be my fantasy league but I am not so self-revealing as to disclose my more perverse desires, with the exception of my perfervid longing for immoral dwarves.

Alpha DogMa: I would like to attend a Paul McCartney show with this woman and shower the performer with prosthetic limbs. And seal flippers. Anyone who takes on the odious social commentary of this fatuous fuck and his evil contemporary the Nuge is doing fine by me. Front row centre - I'll bring the legs!

MetroDad: Tennis at Flushing Meadows. I haven't played tennis since 2004. He will kill me in a 3 out of 5 set match. Or 2 of 3. I don't care. Flushing Meadows... what a name.

Jason: Olympic hockey in 2010. I'll bring the legs!

L: I'm not sure, maybe we'll eat some dead raw fish, or drink coffee. Maybe we could compare notes on our respective fearless leaders.

Mr. Big Dubya: More tattoos, of course. I'll bring the left arm of Dickey Betts for inspiration.

Sarah: We will rehearse in her garage. Inna Gadda da Vida, anyone?

Kara: We will attend a book signing by some "major author" and offer unhelpful advice from the peanut gallery. And artificial limbs.

Dutch: Pankration. Death match. In a vat of Kalamata olives.

Denver Dad: We will publish an "Audubon Field Guide" of vasectomy clinics.

Nonlinear Girl: Neko Case wherever she is playing and a fine seafood dinner at a retaurant of NG's choosing. I will enquire as to the whereabouts of Linear Girl. Where's the body? What have you done with her?

Zero Boss: I plan on arguing with him for hours while drinking coffee and pissing into a bag. My idea of fun.

Crouton Boy: This is difficult. It can't be a video game marathon. I am as dextrous as a limbless invertebrate. Maybe dinner at a spicy terrorist restaurant... maybe not. In the end, I'll suggest a Rangers/Canucks game at Madison Square. Based on the NHL's current scheduling practices I think the next opportunity will arise in 2012. See you then.

I am sure there are other bloggers I could have mentioned. If I didn't, it's because I didn't think of you.




Anonymous Anonymous said...

Raging philosophical/cultural arguments, all while pissing into a bag? Now that's a date!

4:48 p.m.  
Anonymous Jason said...

Even now, I'm pressing my Canadian friend on this particular issue. I need to see an Olympics in the flesh in my lifetime, his parents live in Vancouver, this could be a reality. It occurs to me that I haven't had a Moosehead since high school. I'll buy.

7:57 p.m.  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

What thrills me (even more than getting the blog on blog action from both you and mo-wo) is that last line. I love a man who speaks his mind.

Oh, and for neko seafood, I pick this place. Ok, maybe sushi in NM isn't the best idea, but isn't it time for a cross-continent road trip?

8:11 p.m.  
Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida was my ringtone for years.

You can come play in our garage anytime.

5:43 a.m.  
Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Oh yes, and obviously, more cowbell.

5:45 a.m.  
Blogger CroutonBoy said...

Oh man, I want to piss in a bag with you and the ZB, too.

But I'll take hockey and hummus.

10:38 a.m.  
Blogger L. said...

Dead raw fish? Coffee?

Both very do-able. Just get down here to SF, and all the dead fish and java you can consume are on me.

7:25 p.m.  
Blogger Mr Big Dubya said...

I would like a combo plate please:

Pissing in a bag with you and ZB listening to Sarah get funky Iron Butterfly-style while I get some new ink. Maybe we're all watching Metro playing tennis wearing skates?

Must have been the spicy terrorist food.

10:48 a.m.  
Blogger Denver Dad said...

Ah, yes, the "North America Guide to the Neutered Male." It could sell, like... I don't know... eleven copies!!!

Sadly, I'm already working on my "Author's Introduction" chapter....

1:20 p.m.  

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