Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Open Letter to Shaw Cable


Dear Sirs/Mesdames:

I have been a customer of yours since 1990. I thank you for the many hours of middlebrow entertainment I have enjoyed/endured during that period. In consideration for your fine service I have paid my monthly accounts in a reasonably timely manner and I have not strayed from the fold. I thought, perhaps foolishly, that counted for something. I have now learned, much to my chagrin, it does not.

I do not expect you read this blog. Few do. Plus, you are a large and faceless corporation. What do you care of kool-aid blogs, even of the Jonestown variety? Had you been reading, you would have noted we are fans of the Canucks. That is to say, we are masochists. Had you been reading, you would have noted we planned to attend game 2 of the recently concluded series with Dallas. We attended. You are likely aware the Canucks sucked monkeys that night. Many many monkeys.

You are also likely aware the Canucks played game 7 of the series last night and won. This ended many seasons of playoff futility. Given my predeliction to suffering we planned to view the game. Our children, being the cooperative little souls they are, went to bed by 7pm, meaning we could watch the last 2 periods uninterrupted. We were excited. We couldn't hide it.

Imagine our disappointment when we discovered we had no cable. Imagine our annoyance when we called your customer service department to discover 1: our account is in order, and 2: you cut our cable earlier in the day. Our 2 year old daughter, on hearing of the TV problem, has now confessed to monkeying with the remote. "I broke the TV" she says as we try desperately to disabuse her of this notion. She may require counselling. As of this typing, you have failed to rectify your error. We have no idea when you will because you will not tell us.

Allow me to say this, oh mighty cable company: you smoke cock and you've got a pack-a-day habit. Nothing short of tickets to the next game will resolve this. Four tickets. And not in the nosebleeds.

Sincerely,

p-man

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8 Comments:

Anonymous A Stars "one&done" fan... said...

Don't fret, you didn't miss much: the Canucks still sucked monkeys. It's only by the grace of Dallas getting seriously into penalty trouble that the Canucks were able to stumble to victory.

3:23 p.m.  
Anonymous KathyR said...

Hilarious.

The bastards.

And somewhat heartening, considering that we just dumped our cable for similar problems and gave a pile of money to DirecTV. Who will probably make us regret it. The bastards.

4:02 p.m.  
Anonymous mrsfortune said...

NO CABLE during the PLAYOFFS? The horror. Seriously. THE HORROR. That's even worse than being a Canuck fan...

6:25 p.m.  
Blogger Crunchy Carpets said...

Just be glad that it wasn't like here...with Telus....the multiculural channel - Fairchild - took over every hockey channel right in time for the game...nothing but Chinese Soap Operas!!!!

it was so weird

8:01 p.m.  
Blogger Granny said...

I'm sure they've been taking lessons from Comcast who insists on blacking out the Giants games even when

1. We're 135 miles from San Francisco.

2. The local channel isn't broadcasting the game so there is no reason to block the San Francisco channel which is.

The get it right about 75% of the time.

10:30 p.m.  
Blogger Mad Hatter said...

WTF! What kind of corp cuts a person's cable in a playoff city on the night of Game 7. Jaysus, there should be a blanket policy that NO CABLE GETS CUT on GAME 7 night in Canada.

Sympathies.

7:25 a.m.  
Anonymous Nerka said...

I don't have cable at all, so I watched it on one of the free "just flies through the air and into my TV somehow" channels (the CBC, I believe). Which is good, except that the reception was so bad you really couldn't see the puck. You just sort of had to guess, based on where everyone was skating towards.
It was character-building.

11:19 a.m.  
Anonymous I.A.M. said...

I'm sorry… ‘hockey’…? What is this ‘hockey’ of which you speak…? I've been busy reading books and supporting my Libraries, you see…

6:36 p.m.  

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