Monday, April 09, 2007

Interrogation Room



Alright everyone loves a great interview right? Well, this here interview is a team effort in more ways than one. A joint interview of Mo-Wo and p-man, brought to you by Mad and NotSoSage. Typing this up it was clear that it might get sort of confusing as to who's who. I thought about remedying that all with assigned colour coding. But I hate fucking colour coding so good luck everyone!

From Mad: p-man, let's start with you. First off, since we have the blogosphere to thank for this interview, tell me what, in your opinion, is discussed more in the parenting blogospere: ovaries or testes?

I don’t know the answer to that. I can establish that I have discussed my testes more often than I have discussed my ovaries, or Mo’s, or anyone’s. “Nuts to you.” That’s my motto.

From NotSoSage: And does that need to change? If so, how do you propose to do that?

I will continue to discuss my testes for so long as I have them. If I lose them I will discuss them more often. Vive la meme chose.

From Mad: Mo-wo: Vancouver is a tourist haven. Heck, I've been there about 10 times myself. If you could recommend one natural attraction and one cultural attraction to potential visitors, what would they be?
You've been here...? When? Why didn't you call? Was it something I said. Or was it him?

Did you know I had a dream last month I went to NB and saw you. Just for one evening. And, you know we went to a play. It wasn't that good but it was smart. And, I didn't even know your husband was a playwright when I had that dream I think. Amazing you got a sitter isn't it?

Anyway the question.. ahem...

Natural = Do I go outside? I used to do ‘the natural’ now I see peril everywhere and remain a bit more urban. Maybe Jericho Beach is a don’t-miss ? It has a gorgeous view of Spanish Banks, highly recommend it at sundown when the light glints in a uniquely ethereal manner and the air is fresh with the slightly acid whiff of fresh chicken bits flying out to sea in crab traps. It’s all like a good Cab/Merlot. But if you take your toddler consider a harness there is no rail on 2/3 of the pier.

Cultural = Museum of Anthropology. It is a collection thoroughly engaging for the visitor! I can add that it is also a fine example of a concrete masterpiece of Arthur Erikson and as such it thoroughly suffocating to the employee.

NotSoSage: And am I the only person who gets her directions screwed up because downtown is North?
Huh. Are you like begging some TO crack here? Follow the mountains. It's easy.

NotSoSage: The next two questions are for both of you: What do you think has recently been the greatest test to your marriage? Please answer separately and without consultation.

a) The move
b) The cat
c) The kids
d) All of the above
e) None of the above

p-man: e) Me.

Mo-wo: There’s a test? I mean we got the papal dispensation and I thought that meant all the red tape was covered for like life eternal. Oh, yeah and YEP what he said. For us marriage goes better with kids... and lamb kebabs!

Mad: If you two were hired by Hollywood to do voice-overs for an animated movie, what would the movie be called and what characters would each of you give a voice to?

p-man: Crapula: The Drunkest Vampire. I am the voice of the inebriated bloodsucker and Mo is the voice of my unwilling target. Art mirrors life.

mo-wo: I don't know what it would be called but I am pretty sure I would be shrieking.

Mad: For you both: If you weren't a librarian/lawyer what profession would each of you choose?

p-man: Unemployed.
Mo-wo: Chef

NotSoSage: Which profession do you think would best suit your partner? You may interpret this question in whatever way you wish.

p-man: Lawyer.
Mo-wo: Seriously p-man would make a really great librarian. He reads much more than I do and everyone likes him, in real life anyway. I have seen him befriend everyone from the paint sales lady to our garbage guys with a word or two. These are all great qualities in a librarian. As is organization and the ability to work without extensive support or direction. In the latter two areas he sucks. He’d maybe make a good librarian is the Casanova sort of way or on a bad day Hannibal Lecter.

Then again he makes good coffee and he's sullen.. let's go with barista v barrister.


Mad: Mo-Wo: Librarian or cybrarian? Which is your prefered term?

Always librarian. The cybrarian thing really only works if you pick out your own eyeball and refill the hole with a red light laser scanner which is oh-so 1997. (Ok you civilians, the librarians are all laughing their trusses right off with that one! Trust me, all two of them.)

I’m waaay-heeey to chicken for that.

Librarian
PT Librarian
RT Cybrarian
NT Bunny Watson
Stupid question expert
UF Read-ie Person
Information Person
SA Nerd

Mad: p-man: Given your chosen profession woul d you ever consider naming a future daughter "Sue"?

You assume I am a barrister. I am a solicitor and my son is named Will. My daughter is named Floating Debenture.

Mad: Where the hell did NotSoSage go? She's leaving me high and dry here. Alright, one final question for each of you. Mo-Wo: If you could resurrect one CBC Series from the past, what would it be and why?

Oh man this is a hard one. And, one cleverly devised to ensure that if any of our fringe (2) American readers were still tuned in that they follow the outclick to Sci Fi now.. CBC series… hmmmmm….

Danger Bay, Mr. Dressup, Seeing Things (no way too Toronto! There I said it.), Street Legal (oooh the lip gloss on Cynthia Dale is blinding, and hey did you know C. David Thomas is doing replacement spots on As It Happens now?), King of Kensington, Beachcombers, Front Page Challenge? Ah, a Sophie’s Choice.

Semi-related little know mo-wo factoid. I won 5 What’s New? Challenge t-shirts in elementary school. Please see aforementioned nerd reference. I am considering a grant application to see how many 21st century bloggers were reciepients of cash or prizes from child news program or other uber-geek activities junk when 19 years or younger.

Ok give me a serious moment will you. I guess I would overlook how stoned I may or may not have been on occasion and ask that the gods bring back Kids in the Hall. The circa 1991 season that first year we dated. For each show night I would trot over to p-man’s Dad’s place and cook up somethin’ nice like the corn-pepper cream soup with a side of cornbread. We’d have a good night with friends or just our revered affiliate, his sister. It seems like another planet, and it was; so much that was so effortless. Dinner. Vegetarianism. Society. Love.

Now if this had been a question regarding CTV programs of yore it would have been much easier, hands down “Check it Out” you just can’t ever really get enough of Don Adams, can you?

Mad: And p-man: "Heavy Horses" or "Aqualung", my friend?
Neither. Nibelung. Woof!

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7 Comments:

Blogger Mad Hatter said...

As I expected, a brilliant execution and I loves me a woman who is not afraid to embed a little bit of syndectic thesuarus structure into a blog post. I think I might write a letter to LCSH asking if they could change the preferred term to "readie person". It's got a homey feel to it.

I can assure you that I NEVER missed an episode of Front Page Challenge when I was a wee one and although I never won anything as a child I do own a contest-winning Rita MacNeill t-shirt and I once picked up a wind-breaker at a thrift shop with that way-funky 70s CBC logo all over it.

I do have a follow-up question. Will you be having a coming out ball for little Miss Floating Deb? I hear Debs love balls. (No, not that kind, P-man).

6:00 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Mr Dress-Up!!! (Which Kids in the Hall is totally derivative of, btw)

And, I'm coming to Vancouver. Except not really - I'm coming to TSAWASSEN, because my craptastic family have all decided to bugger out of the city. What are the sights in Tsawassen? Inquiring ex-pat Vancouverites want to know.

7:05 PM  
Blogger NotSoSage said...

OMG. So much brilliance. And that's not just about me and Mad.

I'm surprised neither you nor p-man actually followed through on the T.O. joke. You know I'm Lotus Lander at heart, right? Damn husbands.


Oooh, Kids in the Hall. Good choice! Although Daner Bay made me want to be a marine biologist. I should confirm that I am not, in fact, a marine biologist. Marine biology camp (oh yeah, baby) at 15 ruined that fantasy pretty quickly. Colour me geeky.

Excellent. Thanks for playing.

7:07 PM  
Blogger NotSoSage said...

That would be Danger Bay. "Daner Bay" would be a show about a bunch of turn-of-the-20th-century Danish immigrants fighting the elements up near le Baie d'Hudson.

7:10 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

Oh god, I did laugh, too. We are borg... reference is futile... (At least at my branch!) Great interview.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Mad Hatter said...

Oh gawd! Your comment at my place reminded me that I forgot to talk about your dream in my comment here. Did you know that many a Canadian reviewer has said "not very good but it was smart" about my husband's plays. Seriously. Some reviewers have loved him. The Vancouver blood hounds, though, they ate him alive. It's a nasty city that you live in, really.

BTW, the invitation is now out there. Please come to NB anytime you like. I'll bake cinnamon buns for the occasion.

8:21 PM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

Those are some good questions. Now I am worried you'll ask me about my favorite CBC program(me).

9:17 PM  

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