Brand Recognition : 7th self

Remember when you were friends with people just because you had the same blogspot theme? Hi MadHat! Hi Kittenpie! Hi Mary P! Oh those were the polkdot olden days. Who would do that in real life? That kinda 'who wears it better'? But digitally it worked; finding a kindred in a sea of electronic loneliness.

Swimming the evolution and realignment in our digital vocabularies both blog and brand needs a field guide these days, it must grow in language to be understood. I started a blog for my Girl Friday's school this week and it is not going well. They feel a blog is a personal artifact and not a handy web-authoring tool. And, fundamentally those who show for in-person meetings and sit on parent execs are a group that do not (necessarily, as our ilk) exist digitally. But me... I feel irresponsible that a school would not be so public as to reach out with news, and information in a non-print, digital way in colour.

I hear it said a lot. They are jetson kids in a flinstone universe @school. At work I hold fast, dutifully pooh-poohing it. Desperately wanting my girl to excel with paper and pencil deeply intellectual, poverty-pure cleverness like a young girly Bob Crachit. Wise but denied. How stupid is that? #igiveup

It is what I call the Obama effect. In all the choice we had I went with the most unfancy for Miss Fancy I could. Local school. Telling myself if she could excel in the that environment she could make it anywhere. Oooh, boy was I right. You know like how fancy was Obama's elementary school in Indonesia; not much eh? And he turned out all right, eh? Well like Barack's popularity I guess opinions shift.

Am I eating my words.. not quite... but some. I have to admit that she is not putting her life 'in public' to maximum reward because even in Grade 1 I can see she'll not apply herself to the sitting and the scribbles when the world beyond the school yard is technicolor (tm).

There is a balance to be had but I am reversing on my prior snobbery about the rules of engagement. I'll admit it give me some customizations!!!

Do you remember the luxury of the shifts for your blogging selves. Those sunny days in 2006 when templates got more free, custom designers rose to the fore that you could personalize or at least up the aesthetic over the worksheet forms of our original selves. Tell me which elements of our blog speak to who you really are. I have under my tutelage at the moment two twitter feeds and four blogs. The are all very very different and none of them really include pictures of my actual self; so is that a 7th self? Don't ask me for the best feed on that, I suggest you watch this space

For example anybody recognize the image I choose for twitteer #1? Really just the p-man fetish for murderous starlets! Sure. I love an apt avatar; the succinctitude in an image as gorgeous as a 70char tweet of distinction.

And, how are you? What is your blog longevity? And, what changes with digital aging? I AM looking at you MadHat who has moved to personal, protected tweet only with the professional blog sidecar. Kittenpie how many blogs you got now? What about the incorporate identities of GGC, beauty in its own wrap. What is our reflection on the juniper brand schism of '06, jdg is in O magazine this month!??? And, you nonlinear? like a good 1992 switch to hand-crafted beer; #smallisbeautiful. No chance I'll ignore the publica grandmaster philosopher who I feel must be the source of this embed code in me, HBM. Mesdames, what can we say of digital demand and dual-diagnosis. Who are we in our digital selves and, especially at school, should the chillun's have as much or be on recess instead?

And, you know if it's all about the content tell me that too -- like the lovely and radiant L. who in her written life is excrutiatingly compact, goddamnit! (also lookin' at you Clara and earnestgirl)

Will you blog forever? Not me -- at some point, soon, I will need to write some newsletters and leave it to the writers, I expect.

the Near Miss

Last week I flipped out about missing Northern Voice. I knew Dave Cormier was going to be there. I follow Dave. I knew what he was going to talk about.

I needed that talk.

I was struggling with a coming congress on ebooks: yes/no for schools as textbooks, novel studies, library books. I am also committed to producing a system rattling presentation to 100+ school librarians over the next 3 weeks. An urging to weed down collections, build new spaces for critical thinking -- that are physical and digital -- a talk to reconnect us with library principles of collection management and selections. I wanted to go to Northern Voice. I felt what I needed might, in some measure, be there. I kinda knew a girl. I sent out a plaintive tweet, feeling sorry for myself. Like a Wonka ticket by the next day I'd scored. I would get to go. I would be able to get the talk.

... Then ... I missed it.

In buying a drink for the person who sponsored me... in indulging in one more of my rants on publishing futures for children's literature to a new acquaintance... in walking in the sun I missed most of Dave's talk. Stumbled in late and saw that last slide "tyranny of the book". I knew what I had missed. I heard @jbmurray's whole piece of the talk. Saw Dave long enough to say hi, sure, but I'd missed IT...

Or did I...?

You see I was there all day. I was in the #nv10 and it was an exceptional day for me. An exercise in putting myself out there, all of myself. The mother-woman part, the @maryakem and even the legal name me who was printed right there on my name tag. I didn't meet 200 people. I met 12. And I think they were the vital 12. I hit on good sessions. I felt integrated to a number of important conversations, for me, on twitter. I said some silly stuff but a couple good ideas and perspectives also came. I was very much there. And it was a good place to find what I felt I needed.

Did I mention Dave Cormier was there? I'm sort of connected to him. It's not personal. It's a system. I won't bore with any details; they are of little consequence. I was there in that place exceptionally close to his talk. An exceptional presentation of a critical perspective he brings to a dialogue I am a part of and flagging under for its importance. I watched a recording of Dave today for what I missed, and you know...

I missed nothing. I am caught up. More than caught up...

In all its asynchronicity, the centre holds. What's 15 minutes between good research and learning? NB: @davecormier has a certain consistency that, for lack of better words, does transcend time and space. It is intrinsic to the message - or what I took of it -- yesterday and in the other online resources I have already (or again)...

...the access we need to knowledge is to be unbound from print and sequential pagination. I found it could be unbound from the clock/calendar of a conference. We don't schedule learning we find it. We find it in libraries of so many kinds today.

I will spend next week trying to convince librarians to unbind knowledge from the opening hours of their libraries, to take down shelves and focus on the finding. I will do that better with clarity on how sense of place/space is core. I'm hopeful this will make a lot of bookworms better able to deal with the aggressive weeding I'm advocating.

The talk gave me what I needed to secure the knowledge and to release myself from self doubt because I was there that Saturday. I was there with @wakemp and with @HHG and with Bon's husband, my friend Kerry and the owner of Dexter the dog and that we r connected. The strictures that make me wonder 'am I missing something?' were undone. As much as the talk that's what I needed.

ps. I feel it is our responsibility as librarians to help people let go of books. Books are our brand and we should protect them from the drek or near misses they can be.

Blog on Blog Action

Hey did you know where I was last week? I used to shy away from the blog on blog action but now I'm a real tire biter! That's me eating it up at the Mom Road Trip Vancouver meet up:

It ain't just that splendid, fat, Morton's Steakhouse Martini makin' me smile. It's the earnestgirl and Left Coast, 5and1, n' MandyGratton. It was our royal guests from the East motherbumper and Her Bad Mother. The legendary redneckmommy was there putting the real wild west into this Easterners' journey to our parts as was her hostliness Mr. Lady.

And you know like not too long ago it seemed the only place I went and stayed up past 11 was effing Safeway! Thank-you mother-people.

Come and knock on my door! The Crunchy Carpets online Baby Shower

Last week I had the privilege to drop in on our beloved Crunchy Carpets. I couldn't help myself. I just HAD to know exactly how itchy her belly button was. Seems it wasn't too itchy but she was interested in having her baby soon. So I figured perfect time for a mo-wo Online Baby shower! Nothing says have your baby right now like a Mo-Wo Online Baby shower!

It has been no mean feat for me to come up with the best shower theme for my spectacular friend CC. Did you know we have been friends for more than 20 years? Yep back in the late 80's we met thanks to our kind and radiant shared best friend, we'll call her Nerka for her brief blogging fame. And from there came the nub of our theme today, the olden days -- 80's -- and one of its principal artifacts... Three's Company! Who can ever turn down a great Three's Company reference?

Since this baby will make three chillun's for the Crunchy one to wrangle, no brainer, right? In prep for this I asked a mother-of-three friend about how it went for her. She explained that once she had that third she really had to de-stress and learned that the children were their own pack. That was similar to where CC was at last week, too; trying to find the ease and unworry. I can tell you she is not bothered one jot by what the need for a baby wipes warmer or other long expired details of extreme baby-care. My lovely girl is looking for the breezy loose-fitting bell-bottomy motherhood of child 3. Scanning existence for a yoga and macrame approach to letting it all hang out and living the motherhood to the max! Let's help her.

So our Three's Company challenge for the CC baby shower is to tell a story of sane-making easy-going parenting. What can you remind CC to let up about and be sure to hang ten the baby phase? Is there a baby gadget or piece of advice to have or to ignore? Is there a great trick to get through baby wailing? What 'easy does it' can we share?



My own advice? Never forget you can run a dishwasher as many as 4 times in a single day! I've done it!

Good luck honey. We love you and wish you a speedy delivery of your precious new baby. Stay calm, be brave, wait for the signs.Cross posted at Wet Coast Women.

Nonlinear Babies' Shower Book Reports

Very soon our dear Nonlinear One will be eyeballs to eyeballs to eyeballs with BABIES! Time for a celebration!!!

As a librarian I was blessed with two book showers for my babies and that's what I propose for NLG and family. I've heard reports she has enough socks. So if you are a friend of Nonlinear Girl (or if you want to be and my oh my don't ya?) here's the virtual baby shower plan.

Let's write NLG a booklist. For those of you with second (and third, and fourth) children I think you might agree with me that in those in early days it's crucial to have great stack of books to look through while you -- and the new big sibling -- deal with all those feeds and all that getting to know stuff.

To give it a bit of a challenge I have some rules, feel free encouraged to break them. Please post something about a book, a book you do, or don't, recommend; a story that says something special for you about the early days with infants or nascent big sibs; or, any and all other manner of message you might want to make to the Nonlinear family we all know and love so much.

1. Make it a picture book. I think there is a need to emphasize the visual with an image-impeccable specimen like NLG; I will be posting on my choice, The Day the Babies Crawled Away, in a couple days.
2. Books can be on any theme although books that are about boys and girls or big sisters or new babies or HATS!! might be especially fun to track
3. Send me an email at motherwoman04 AT yahoo.ca by May 25th and I will post all the links for Nora's easy reading. Let's face it, at this point the little ones are makin' her tired all over.
4. Post the button on your own blog and link back in the post so we may effortlessly enact the more the merrier model.

When we're done we will have some lovely suggestions for trips to the library and at least one new book too. Knowing the Nonlinear Family is a fan of Powell's Books in Portland I think their inventory of extra-special books will help me supply a book drawn from among the titles posted.

And, an extra prize for the first poster to guess my 'tired all over' reference. (p-man is NOT eligible for that one.)

The Posts are coming in:

mama without instructions' Books for Babies
the host post The day the babies crawled away
the cheesefairy Babies for Nonlinear Girl
sarah got twins?
Slouching Mom Favorite
Mayberry Mom Gruffalo Twins
MadHatter Pure Poetry

... and we're getting lots of nice suggestions in the comments here too. Thanks everyone I think we are all excited about the 2! 2! who came in month 5! to make The Nonlinear quantity a new and exciting Prime number. And, I 'm just really hopeful this is going to lead to actual post from Nonlinear Papa. No pressure.

Three Case Studies

When I meet pleasant blogger families in person it never fails to blow me away how incredibly life-like the husbands are. I am surprised. Not that the writing makes spouses seem wooden or anything. Oh, dear. What am I saying? Maybe I have bought into the words of our enemies; we all blog because we live insular, repressed lives that prompt our whining writing.

Noooooo, she reports.
Au contraire.

In my case study of three I have now proved that we blog because we all have rakish, genius, articulate and engaging husbands. It's like how people say if your spouse dies and you have a good marriage, you'll marry again soon. That shit creeps me out but it's undeniable.

Me. I'm a dreamer. I'd like to feel we were out here writing away because we need each other. Too bad for me and my dreams.

Thanks for coming over Famille de Fromage-Tamano

Tell me do you blog, just to show off your husband?

Connectivity... or Transferrable skills

I have been a lot not blogging this week and for weeks before. We have instead been blessedly intersecting with our blogging content in a considerable portion of molecules and atoms

I mean we have been, not instead of blogging, but also communing in the physical realm. And as I used to say in the corner of some eighties dance hall standing tall in my mustard suede pointy shoes... "It was a slice, or maybe more like a wedge." It is a lot this embarrassment of riches. We are well. Ensconced in connectivity.

On this past Saturday I collaborated with neighbours on a massive block party project. More than 200 men, women and children joined us at the playground for a picnic. That afternoon our dear nonlinear ones arrived, next day a concert with them in Stanley Park. And then after they left a man of letters flew in full of Fringe charisma and the promise of a story.

Since then I have gotten to see Vancouver schools open and I have talked and talked and talked and talked to teachers new and old about helping children read and research. I write you tonight exhausted... but happy. Feeling beyond satiated with opportunity. Yum.

And I think about that the cribcast hosted by the brilliant and beautiful bon last January. As a special tribute to the social justice goals bloggers Jen and Mad bon asked us to chat. At that time I got caught in the sidebar of how self-serving and overly introspective blogging can be. How we manage, for example, courtesy and pedantic comments on our own blogs. We all know we exercise regularly, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. Convenient.

But me? I just can't shut up. Lucky me, only slightly ashamed to be Just Postless again this month yet oddly full with the fuel of company and courtesy and sharing on my micro-level. Filled to the toe-top full of direst fraternity.

I think of the rushing earnest friendliness that filled the gaps of so many moments with our recent guests. And I think, largely, of the sweat and tears I put in for our neighbourhood event. I mentioned to the NLG "I don't know that I would have done that sort of thing before blogging." Not that I wasn't friendly then. I just was not quite as forward and in charge over courtesy. I would look at options to connect less sure of a course to proceed. Having virtual relationships has surprised me by enhancing my overall risk taking in real life relationships. YOu know that and parenthood. Excuse me let me clean my kid's puke of your carpet can do that. There MetroDad, does that answer your question?

Now time for your reading assignment.

It Takes Two Babe

Assvice on having two children is called for in celebration of this month's bloggerly baby shower! Well you don't have to ask me twice. I posted on this last October when the news broke. Here's my spot on you-will-expire-without-my-input input from back then...

Don't look to me to sugar coat. Having more than one child is hard work but not really as mind shatteringly hard as learning to have a child at all. You have been through that and fared well. Soldier on.

So what is the hard part? Simply put it is that you have now made the choice to entangle two souls. You will make two people risk their feelings on each other, and they are each your children.... (click for unabridged.)

If you click do follow some of those links in there they hold a lot of great comments from smart women. Including the lifesaving remarks of the incomparable Mary P. on this post. I basically got credit for her education of me on Kittenpie's blog tonight and in the spirit of rigorous citation I had to say something.

The second best bit of advice I got was don't leave the baby with the big kid. They can kill them. This is a good point and something I hadn't noticed in any of the standard baby reference works so I thought I'd pass that on. Around here we are so far so good on that score.

Very best wishes to you all from the Wo family at this time of inordinate change and adventure.

Reckless Mothers

When I reflect on my quality of parenting the scab I pick at most is of a basic form. Variations on the theme: risk, isolation, change, recklessness. I have to get off book more I think. I have to stop punishing myself because of the elusiveness of control. They are not bad children and I need not perfect them. Perfect parenting is a cruci-fiction.



On Friday I walked the two kids to school, about a block. It was a struggle and a triumph. I was stressed with my little guy by the hand and his sister free to run off and on all around our street, down the new park sidewalk where we inspected two backhoes and a digger. I was afraid. They were at risk. More than when I take them in the wagon on contain one of the two in a stroller. They could fall. A car could...

I look at moments like these with contempt convinced that, in fact, this has much more to do with stroller salesmen, such as they are, than with me. Still, I resent the knowledge I am a pretty easy mark.

We did it. All parties visibly enamored of the outcome of freedom and independence. This is it, I realize it now. The scabs, scraped knees even the dangers are the point. It is what I embrace and want for them. I have, of late, managed to let go of their birth. I have till now fully worshiped their coming to me. The separation of our bodies and those brief moments in which they were pure and new.

I see the stains (sorry to sound so New Testament about this) and am delighted. I am now suddenly open to their errors. Dreaming not of what has been but instead of the deep blessings (see there I am at it again!) of their having a future I can see. Imagining how when she is 14 covered in pimples and feeling insecure I might be the only one in the world to see deep inside. The one to say, as my mother did, you are so beautiful, if only you could realize. Knowing no matter she is as beautiful as that day she was born. I will sneak a hand hold of the little big guy when the little part drops. I will embarrass him, and enjoy it.

I don't know where I get this sort of wisdom.. but it feels good. I guess it comes from lots of places. Including the chance to move myself to dust off my dress shoes and look into the eyes of reckless mothers I know. To think a little about how I am different from them and vice versa. To move to common ground -- and that ground is spotted with a cheap merlot and some nerds. Reckless mothers might be the best kind? Who knew?

Last night I saw..

Bite My Cookie and THE Girl's Gone Child right here in Vancouver. Me and the radiant and clever CC went to the book event and hooked up. Wicked!

Only thing better is to follow up with a free afternoon to go read her book.
A hoot and bite with a real cookie? How lucky am I?

Thinking of you Chickies next time I see Anthony's bony ass dart across the club.

The Red and The Purple

Like the new sidebar photo? ... And, hey please go vote here for all this.

With Purpose

So Mad put the call out for kitsch. Well I have plenty. The fish lamp, the Sampan lamp, the Juice King. I have long lost my Gaynor and Dorothy Maddox tell you How to Plan the Perfect Dinner Party; I suppose that was my peak.

So many choices still remain... Red and Rhinstone Buddha? AnCORN Watt? Nah... This is what I'll offer. I keep the following magazine ad framed in my bathroom. It sort of looks like us. And there is the power of the sentiment in the headline. Hahahahahahaha. Lately my favorite part is the segment that reads Don't Offend Needlessly.


Maybe we should change the tagline. Mo-Wo and P-man Offending with Purpose since 1995.

Bad Blogger Confessional

As a titular blog contributor to the fabulously rhetorical BlogRhet... I got tagged for the reflective blogging post going around. Hmmmmm.....

I think I answer all the questions? Oh, fuck this ain't an interview. I can just talk, right? Here is what I say in response.

1. Early Posting
In late 2005 I was pretty traumatized by the turns my new parenthood had taken. Namely, life as a working mom and suddenly a working pregnant mom. Make that a pregnant working mom with a job share arrangement that just fell apart and childcare in total flux. I was, as the cliche goes, overwhelmed.

I found blogging a help with fears and uncertainties these things gave rise to in me. I started this blog 1.) to have a clear identity when commenting on what I considered to be 'the real blogs' and 2.) as a writing exercise to reason out(?) my inner tensions.

I have never meant this blog to be for my kids. It is really about me, me, me! I was my own audience. Myself and my husband. This blog was certainly a useful device for us to say things to the world and each other. I really liked those early posts when we were inmate and visitor, in turn, talking through the glass. I still like that about, what is now, our blog.

2. Your first
I mean you always remember your first, right? My first comment was a thrill. It was a luxurious bit of attention. I had asked the Sarcastic Journalist for a bit of coaching before I started the blog and she was nice enough to write me back. I guess she was curious after and she did look me up.

SJ was my first comment and she said a picture of my daughter and I was beautiful.

I was delighted. Am delighted. (Later I used the pic again and my beloved L. said I had nice shoulders. You should expect me to use this photo every year from now on. I need the feather stroking.

3. Conversations
In March 2006 our Who do you blog for? Quiz managed to get Dutch to publicly announce that an unexamined life is not worth living. Shocking. With that I believe he stopped reading our blog, phew.

Then on the upswing the post caught a bit of stardust off MommyBlogger heavy, Kristen, at Motherhood Uncensored. She even dubbed me a fabulous mom, heh those were the days. This event turned us to a broad range of bleaders and changed our blogging. Sure.

Oh that and the impending birth of our second child some four months hence.

4. The final question.. Do you think that this sense of audience or community might have affected the way you began to write?

As I have said I was initially my own audience. I would say that my experience and interaction with the ineffable community out there has changed things. I am, to use a dainty hyperbole, overwrought at times that I cannot serve the community adequately. (There are whaa-hey-ya toooo many good blogs to read these days. I might have a breakdown with all I know now.) I have to admit at times to publishing just to feed the beast. To meet that subtle Thursday deadline when really it's easier for me to write on Fridays. But who reads blogs on Saturday? I have to confess that the very persistence of this blog is the affect on my writing because I am not a liar when I need to say 'twice the children, half the blog'. I enjoy writing this meme if for no other reason as an opportunity to confess (and come to terms with) the lesser bloggedness where I am of late.

Not to say that we don't have some gems at times. Thanks a million, Mad. You're the best.

*** And now to tag. You know I hate tagging but I am a conformist so what BlogRhet wants, BlogRhet gets. I am pretty curious about what the answers to these questions would be for Mrs. Fortune she tends to cut the crap. And, what about you Liz Mom-101? Do 400 comment getters remember their first? (hey I know you're busy but it might double as presention prep?). Plus, as a tribute to our bygone blogging days I'll tag Heather back from that post that got us exposed.

Make A Wish, Asshole

I am just now recovering from Mo's love-fest of a post, or think-fest, whatever. All this emotionalism, it clouds my judgment, so much so I thought I would enter into the fray. Herein I identify numerous bloggers whose product I read, or have read, and I will name an activity I would like to participate in with them. All will be relieved to note there will be no pig in a blanket-type references. This may be my fantasy league but I am not so self-revealing as to disclose my more perverse desires, with the exception of my perfervid longing for immoral dwarves.

Alpha DogMa: I would like to attend a Paul McCartney show with this woman and shower the performer with prosthetic limbs. And seal flippers. Anyone who takes on the odious social commentary of this fatuous fuck and his evil contemporary the Nuge is doing fine by me. Front row centre - I'll bring the legs!

MetroDad: Tennis at Flushing Meadows. I haven't played tennis since 2004. He will kill me in a 3 out of 5 set match. Or 2 of 3. I don't care. Flushing Meadows... what a name.

Jason: Olympic hockey in 2010. I'll bring the legs!

L: I'm not sure, maybe we'll eat some dead raw fish, or drink coffee. Maybe we could compare notes on our respective fearless leaders.

Mr. Big Dubya: More tattoos, of course. I'll bring the left arm of Dickey Betts for inspiration.

Sarah: We will rehearse in her garage. Inna Gadda da Vida, anyone?

Kara: We will attend a book signing by some "major author" and offer unhelpful advice from the peanut gallery. And artificial limbs.

Dutch: Pankration. Death match. In a vat of Kalamata olives.

Denver Dad: We will publish an "Audubon Field Guide" of vasectomy clinics.

Nonlinear Girl: Neko Case wherever she is playing and a fine seafood dinner at a retaurant of NG's choosing. I will enquire as to the whereabouts of Linear Girl. Where's the body? What have you done with her?

Zero Boss: I plan on arguing with him for hours while drinking coffee and pissing into a bag. My idea of fun.

Crouton Boy: This is difficult. It can't be a video game marathon. I am as dextrous as a limbless invertebrate. Maybe dinner at a spicy terrorist restaurant... maybe not. In the end, I'll suggest a Rangers/Canucks game at Madison Square. Based on the NHL's current scheduling practices I think the next opportunity will arise in 2012. See you then.

I am sure there are other bloggers I could have mentioned. If I didn't, it's because I didn't think of you.

PMO