Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Parenting Workshop

Every Thursday.. Friday I am dreaming of the two parent days coming.
Every Sunday. I am bewildered how it is that everything takes longer when we are both here.

Last week I gained some insight and thought I'd share. I was in the park and talking to a neighbour Mom and son. She is recently back to work but she has Fridays off. In reference to these days she said in a hushed tone, with a measure of shyness or shame, "I like having a day -- you know -- just me and him."

"Yeah. I know." I said.

But why is that???

Well I have determined it is -- what I like to now call -- the Parenting workshop. What I said to her was ... "It is nice. Things often go smoother when you don't have to be running the parenting workshop, eh? More relaxing. It seems that so long as our children keep growing, and of course they, do we need to keep growing as parents. It is more than tiring to work out all that rule-making and 'consistency', etcetera etcetera."

Am I wrong??

Tell me do you live the parenting workshop and do you like it or lump it? I really want to hear from you. I would be a liar not to admit that my initial blogging modus operandi was in no small regard a quest to solve the parenting workshop. So often I was looking and linking from parenting blog to parenting blog trying to find that perfect couple who seamlessly parents the most well-behaved and stainless child(ren). They are out there, I think you people know who you are. But tell me right to my face, hell tell the whole interweb would ya?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm at home with the little dears most of the time, so when it comes to the weekend, I fall into "go ask your father" mode. As in "go ask your father if you can have chocolate milk on your porridge, because I don't give a crap and just for once I want to take a crap with you interrupting me. Pass me the toilet paper as you're leaving."

You are not alone. With all the layoffs in town, I know several dual SAHM/SAHD families right now. More than one of my friends has muttered, "He's going to have to get a camp job in the oil fields or we're getting divorced."

Our big issue on any weekend excursion is co-ordinating packing. Be it snacks for going in the canoe. Or extra clothes and snacks for a drive to the Little Big Smoke. Or bathing suits and towels and snacks for the pool. Or books and snacks for the library. I'll be half packed and he'll have the kids out in the car with the engine running, giving me death stares through the window as I run around stuffing granola bars and yogurt tubs in my purse.

2:59 p.m.  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I just spent six consecutive days with my husband and kid. On day six we had finally fallen into a workable routine. Then he went back to work.

This weekend we'll have to start from square one.

6:48 p.m.  
Blogger Mad said...

I think those parents are as elusive as the mythological "fecund woman": you know, the one who gets pregnant easily, knows when to take birth control b/c of it, who has happy healthy pregnancies, who labours like a star with no need for meds, and who has never heard of post-partum as her milky bosoms nourish the world. I hate that bitch. If only I could find her to tell her so.

Joint parenting is hard. At least in my household my husband is, so far, smart enough to defer to my wisdom and to shut up when he thinks I'm being a colossal screw up. I gotta love him for that. The fact that my daughter adamantly refuses to be parented by anyone but me despite all our efforts to change matters poses a serious problem.

9:34 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I felt certain these elusive competents were me & mine, but then realized that at the moment, it just appears that way because we are in the same boat, he and I: both out of the house 11 hours a day and spending the same time weekends w/the kid.

Then I remember when I was the one home all day, him coming home and having to "brief" him on things - "Kid eats grapes now / kid can grab own toys / moved the diapers to a different drawer/ the backpack already HAS cups in it dammit."

So, it's easy now b/c of circumstance and will only get harder, like you say, with need for consistency / discipline plus the killer imbalance of one person being primary caregiver & the other the part-timer. (mean that less offensively than it sounds...)

11:45 a.m.  
Blogger Crunchy Carpets said...

Mine is home with me. All day.
Well...he sleeps till noon as he has been working in his 'office' till 4 am.

But he is here...he hears every argument between me and the kids.

He is pretty good and picking which one's to step into and which one's to stay away from.

I am torn is sometimes easier with one parent...but other times I LOVE having someone there to step in and rescue me

10:09 p.m.  
Blogger kittenpie said...

To be honest, we do a lot of trading back and forth when we are both home. Bedtime routine involved passing the kid back and forth for different stages, weekends involves taking turns sleeping in and hanging with her and preparing lunches. It seems to work, giving each of us some breaks and small bits of time to ourselves, and both of us having time with her, too.

3:20 p.m.  
Blogger Andrea said...

I trade when we can but he works nights and I work days. sucks.
He has mondays with her so that is great. They have to work out a lot together.
In Japan they used to have two days a week together and it was great. Now he know when to step in and she knows that she cant play games with us.
Still tries of course but ...
But really I love Saturdays when we can go to the park and I can sit back and she can be a kid with out me worried out her being good. Just play.
Love those days.

4:37 p.m.  

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