Monday, May 24, 2010

Stonewalling


This weekend we reworked the back garden. It's been a project to remove concrete, add lawn space, plant the vegetable garden and spruce up the flower beds. I wanted to add a stone wall. I have rather soft spot for dry fit stone walls. We found a good stone yard and took a look on Saturday. The children loved snooping around all the accoutrements of the 'rock store'. The fountains, rock walls, pavers, fountains, et cetera, all delightful.

Our kids are good helpers. I come for a house that was always more into chores than sports; I keep up the 'get to work' expectation. When we went to the stone yard to collect the supplies for our project the kids brought their garden gloves. We picked our own rocks for 7 cents less a pound than you pay for a skid. It was slow going but we got the job done; and, we did it together.

The rock store was fine but it's one of those places you feel you are annoying the staff just to ask a question. They are obviously trying to dual track their service from only for trades to some place they can harvest big $$$ from clueless yuppies, like m'self. They were pretty bad at answering inquiries or otherwise moving us along. And, to top it off quick to deliver a sneer for taking too long on the scale or letting my children touch their crud. P-man was kinda embarrassed. Me? NOT AT ALL. I have HAD IT with people being overly mouthy about how long I take to do things with my 3 and 5 yo. I am calling the spade a spade... I won't put my kids away. You can throw all the Kids meals and IKEA ball rooms at me that you like but I'm not interested. I'm not a quality parent, eh. I'm a quantity parent, the kids come with me. The glares are wasted this time.

Is it just me or is it a bit of scam all the 'kids stuff' and 'family rooms' and 'nursing areas'. Are they some special place for us or tell me don't you just wonder a little if we're being shunted or shunned? Keep out? Keep away? When I look at how sniffy folks are that children might be slow to complete their restaurant orders or to -- for example -- load a truck with 1000lbs of basalt rock.. it sits a bit wrong. Slow down society. Get some tolerance. Get over yourself.

I am the sorta Mom who will take her kid to work, I do not avoid grocery shopping, housecleaning, dinner parties or regular restaurants with my kids. I expect them to be developing to be members of the whole society and not just some plastic coated, comes with a chocolate treat or face paint sort of existence. It is hard. It is embarrassing at times, yes, but it's where we will be so the children can learn to behave. I admit it maybe I don't know the boundaries of righteous behaviour any more? What I'm wondering here is whether there's some new unwritten rule that children should not only not be heard, but they shouldn't even be seen?

Tell me have you ever had a time when you were 99% sure your whole family should be allowed to be somewhere but the tone suggested otherwise?

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4 Comments:

Blogger nonlineargirl said...

Hey, where are the pictures of this magical garden re-do? I have a mental image of your back garden and need it updated, thankyouverymuch.

10:17 PM  
Blogger Mad said...

I'm itching for pictures too.

So far, I haven't had an experience like that aside from being rushed out of restaurants and sneered at re kids meals. I did switch grocery stores last fall, though, b/c the big conglommerate seemed to work against families. The new one--The Co-op--defines family friendly, complete with small carts and free, nutritional snacks for kids. They expect you to do chores with your kid there. I like that b/c I too like to maximize time with my kid by always including her on errands.

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

I like your bit about being a quantity, not a quality, parent.

I liked this post. A new manifesto. Forget take your kids to work day. Take your kids EVERYWHERE EVERYDAY.

8:04 PM  
Blogger joven said...

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10:40 PM  

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