Wednesday My Ass

I come from a long line of "no" people. My mom says "no" even when she's agreeing with me. It is unusual to say the least. She is constitutionally incapable of saying "Yes." The first word I uttered, according to unnamed sources, is "No". I continued to use and abuse this word for years. I've said "no" even when I thought "yes" merely because it is easier than getting involved with people once we've agreed to do something. It was my shield, my sword, my succour. It was a point of pride to me, as odd as it may be, to be able to negate or refuse nearly anything. (Except single malt. And beer. And chronic... ok, it was very hard to say no to a lot of things. This thesis is falling apart!) (OK, I will posit a small variation. If I couldn't find the "no" I would change the subject, answer indirectly, or run. So there.)

Then we had a girl. Saying no is becoming increasingly difficult. Saying "no" to the toddler's "no" is also proving problematic. It involves unwanted conflict. I am unsure how to find a creative way to reach my goals without strife so I cave way too often. Mo is going wild - wondering why the kid is still in her pyjamas when I am set to depart to the office. I can't expalin it, I know I'm soft, and I have no defence.

This development on the home front is clearly spilling over to my job. Yesterday was annual review, my first time from the employer's side. Our staff members are, as it turns out, a really good bunch. They all wanted an increase in salary. I couldn't say "no". I thought I wanted to, but I didn't say it. It was weird. By day's end I was having an out of body experience, viewing the room from behind the ficus as raises were sought and given. There was a whole lot of yes going on and I was a part of it.

Just today, people here were asking me questions and I responded "yes" each time. I think there were between 5 and 7 consecutive affirmative responses out of me. Oddly, it didn't hurt a bit.


Meanwhile, on the Dirk Benedict front:



Dirk Benedict was up for eviction from the Celebrity Big Brother quonset hut of fortune. It turns out he is no longer considered a celebrity. Fucking Richard Hatch is on BG2, and Dirk is not a celebrity? He still has the van, people!

P-man out.