Wednesday, February 28, 2007

His Bad Mother

My son has mastered the hateful diaper-change squirm in the last couple weeks. To date I had failed to locate the proper household item with which to placate him. Unlike his sister he showed little interest in such contraband items as Penaten tubes, or nail polish bottles. Even spikey hair accessories and manicure tools failed to delight.

My children -- apparently -- think 'real toys' are for chumps.

But I have now nailed it. I found the item to focus his attention enough to provide that window of peace to make ass wiping tolerable again.. and it is a bad choice. Yep it is a big bottle just like this...

I guess I am trying to get in the running for, with all due respect, his bad mother. But it is perfect the red cap, the ribbed edged of itchy gums, the maraca quality shake-shake-shake of it all? Alas.



Blogger Lainey-Paney said...


I have a 17 month old who throws kicking & screaming fits with the diaper change...but I recall a time when I could hand him something like...a bottle of Tylenol...and he would be still & entertained for at least 45 seconds while I changed the diaper.

So...we probably shouldn't let our kids play with bottles of medicine...but it works, doesn't it???

Tylenol...not just for headaches anymore.

11:19 a.m.  
Blogger NotSoSage said...


Whatever works, baby. I'm assuming there's a child safety (who are they kidding) cap? :)

12:19 p.m.  
Blogger Mad Hatter said...

Miss M calls infant tylenol, "sore tooth candy" and uses the rubberized squeegie bit on top as a molar teething ring. She's really moved on from the empty beer bottles and plastic bags I let her play with in her infancy.

8:35 p.m.  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

You do what works to get the job done! I've let Laurel play with the disposable diaper sacks during diaper changes. She loves how sound when you squish them together.

1:48 p.m.  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

I find that bottles of sleeping pills work better. Better fit with little hands.

TRUE bad mothers know that the stronger the pill, the smaller the bottle, the better the toy.

5:30 p.m.  

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