Saturday, January 15, 2011


I reach for the blackberry on my passenger seat like I reach for his hand. A moment at a stop light to see what he's thinking, p-man.. wherever he is. I realize as I drop it again...two hand on the wheel. It'll keep. Hey, It's me! I'm the clingy one! Me.

My kids had clingy periods sure but mostly they are independent. I remember the day my Ma shot at me 'you just don't want her to be independent'. Who me? of all people? Independence impeder. NEVER. But sometimes you have to wonder....

I am struggling with my daughter's aloofness these days. Aloofness at best; arrogance at worst. Her overly social nature getting the better of her in grade one. Leading the pack and too much independence. Not falling in with the class or abiding the teacher. It's been very hard*** how she is getting bigger and wanting her own way is gonna make trouble. She is demanding too much at times and not good at being flexible or kind when she's not getting it.

My daughter is a friendly kid but when her best friend moved away last year she hasn't found a replacement. I tried not to fuss about it. But I am a fusser into attachment. I realize I am the clingy one. I want to know where everyone is and how they're doing. It is a mystery to me that my daughter is not me in this regard. Ah, well I learn.

In celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary this year my beloved declared himself like a barnacle.. Finds what he likes and sticks to it. So she's not him exactly either. So we have to be the open ones helping her become her while knowing her the best of everyone. We want her to be open.

We all do think about what might be out there, don't we, smirk:

*** in the why I don't blog anymore catalogue... is this sort of sin of the family unbloggable. is it against some law of the parent blog... I think so and won't talk about it too much in my last 30 posts before this blog is closed.

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Blogger L. said...

I'm sad thinking about this blog being closed.....

But that's life. This blog os a metaphor for the ephemorality of human existence.

5:00 p.m.  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

There are things I want to write about, but feel shy to share them now that Ada is getting older (and one day will be able to read what I write). It is one thing to talk about the craziness of a 3 year old, another to talk about the personality of a more formed child.

10:05 p.m.  
Blogger mo-wo said...

I know what you are saying NLG that is sort of my thing. But I get torn. L. was always soooo impressive because she managed to write about family life without ever taking away the kids' privacy. She has an astounding aplomb to the first person -- I think it's the black background and deep intelligence.

10:54 p.m.  

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