Point Blank
I don't really keep in touch with more than a couple of my good friends from high school. Next month at my 20th reunion I look forward to the chance to catch up. For the most part I went to school with good people.
One of my best friends from the group, and a really interesting chick, is D. We haven't talked in years but in prep for the reunion I dropped her an email. She is a busy businesswoman up North now often sparing time-off only for a good bit of scuba diving in Belize during the coldest months that Yellowknife can offer. Would she spend part of this year's time away on little ole Burbville-upon-Fraser where we grew up?
The message came back. Yes she would. But she wouldn't bring the whole family? WHAT? What family? This is the girl who said when we were 15 she'd NEVER have kids, due to being"too selfish and kids are a big responsibility." So she DID have them. By the by I remember being simultaneously apalled and admiring about her comment back then. To know thy self that's a good skill. I always envied her that.
To follow up I wrote a message mentioning my two kids and got a message with this senitiment in response.
"WHAT!!!! Two kids!! No way hosey-rosie (as my just 4 year old daughter would say). That’s unexpected for some reason. Here I’ve been envisioning you all these years as some socialite ultra-adult urbanite."
I find this remarkable in a couple ways.
1. Here we both were so sure one another were not 'parent material' ... an allusion to our enduring coolness of youthful memory, perhaps? (insert some sad social commentary on the self-effacing tenor to parenthood these days, your call)
2. Isn't it nice that despite some 8 or 9 years silence and many years of declining intimacy before that we could just pick up in that voice of familiarity and steadfast sarcasm.
I always believe you can't let years of silence be a barrier to friendship. Don't get hung up on who called, or didn't call, last time. With the people that matter... it never matters. I can add I am pretty damn thrilled that she is a Mom. I know she was, actually, never too selfish anyway.
Of course I told her I am a pure and refined hipster parent all the way! hahahahaha
Cue the DJ people.
One of my best friends from the group, and a really interesting chick, is D. We haven't talked in years but in prep for the reunion I dropped her an email. She is a busy businesswoman up North now often sparing time-off only for a good bit of scuba diving in Belize during the coldest months that Yellowknife can offer. Would she spend part of this year's time away on little ole Burbville-upon-Fraser where we grew up?
The message came back. Yes she would. But she wouldn't bring the whole family? WHAT? What family? This is the girl who said when we were 15 she'd NEVER have kids, due to being"too selfish and kids are a big responsibility." So she DID have them. By the by I remember being simultaneously apalled and admiring about her comment back then. To know thy self that's a good skill. I always envied her that.
To follow up I wrote a message mentioning my two kids and got a message with this senitiment in response.
"WHAT!!!! Two kids!! No way hosey-rosie (as my just 4 year old daughter would say). That’s unexpected for some reason. Here I’ve been envisioning you all these years as some socialite ultra-adult urbanite."
I find this remarkable in a couple ways.
1. Here we both were so sure one another were not 'parent material' ... an allusion to our enduring coolness of youthful memory, perhaps? (insert some sad social commentary on the self-effacing tenor to parenthood these days, your call)
2. Isn't it nice that despite some 8 or 9 years silence and many years of declining intimacy before that we could just pick up in that voice of familiarity and steadfast sarcasm.
I always believe you can't let years of silence be a barrier to friendship. Don't get hung up on who called, or didn't call, last time. With the people that matter... it never matters. I can add I am pretty damn thrilled that she is a Mom. I know she was, actually, never too selfish anyway.
Of course I told her I am a pure and refined hipster parent all the way! hahahahaha
Cue the DJ people.
posted by mo-wo at 1:43 p.m.
3 Comments:
The best friends I have are ones I touch base with every few years. In that moment of re-acquaintance, time disappears. Have fun at the reunion.
hey...how'd you hire my personal dj?
i too hope you have a great time at the reunion. i love those old friends that i can fall right back into familiarity with.
Yeah, I have a few friends like that, where we drift in and out, and even though things change along the way, the connection is true and doesn't go away.
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