Tonight I put e. to bed by myself. Someone nearly passed out in anger or distress. We are lucky that the p-man employ is pretty routine (not easy to come by in lawyer-land) so I can count on him to be home for bedtimes. At least, ever since I got smart and told him that his evenings are no longer for Da Band
, or racquet sport du jour, etc, etc! What did that take me like 6 mos. of parenthood to figure out or something?Butidigress, sort of....
So, anyway, he was away tonight and yet I did do it myself. This is no mean feat for the following reasons:
1. My mean feet
. Yep, in week 36 of the pregnancy I turned my ankle and I am not entirely up to the strength requirements of toddler wrastling.
2. I am now 37 weeks + and nearly useless at many things like, general baby hauling, extended periods of patience, uhm, sustained persuasive rationalization of any kind -- of either the internal or external kind. SHIT!
3. With only one month to sibling arrivalry we decided to take the world's best sleeper
and shake it up with a new bed
complete with newish papa-man routine. (Insert something worse that SHIT here please.)
While we have shaved the negotiation on sleep expectations by at least 45 minutes in the last week or so
... and are now coming in at the more ideal 8:15/8:30 knockout I am not happy. The very intrusion of negotiation into what used to be non-negotiable is really pissing me off.
Also, I ask you to consider this; the disdain and disobedience of the child went as follows:
When trying to lay her in bed... Child response, 'No pushing'
-- well you can't really argue with that can you?
When saying, nigh-night Mama will be outside, you go to bed... Child response. 'No. No please. Please do not go out there. Close the door please.'
Be sure to roll this one in multicoloured sprinkles and sanding sugar
in you mind to replicate the tone of this plea.
When asking for a hug and kiss bye-bye.. Child response.. all manner of renewed energy
coming out of left field.
Intersperse all the sucking up with a few huge crying jags well seasoned with 'Leave me alone' and baby Garbo is too much for me? Well, maybe not. I don't know. We have spent sometime in the kinder gentler sleep training mode, or at least p-man has. That system involves laying on the floor and setting a good sleep example. Has its attractions for sure. But I don't entirely buy into this sort of 'system' too high maintenance for me. A month ago you put e. in her bed said bye-bye, night-night, see you in the morning light and left. That is my goal. I really can't buy in that the girl who could do that is as washed up as Jenilee Harrison
Tonight I tried it a bit different and am a bit more comfortable. But I am still trolling for information/ideas people. Really, the first week was great but something went of the rails. Help! Help! What I tried tonight was to keep focussed on this being bedtime. After bath, zippo toys kiddo! Uno story thanks. Diaper and pajamas in the lovely friendly bed. Child, physically relaxed, might stay in bed? Well, no way. After about 5 minutes she is out. I put her back. She's out. Angry, going to lie on the floor. I put her back. Getting angrier and angrier. Going for the books to get me where it hurts. I put her back maybe a half dozen times. She is flipping out. We step out of the bedroom and do a relaxing circuit of good night to the cats, chairs, rooms, etc. She leads back to her room... near but not in the bed. Looks promising but noooooo, you are hooped motherwoman! A couple more distractions and bed putting exericises. Really only 15 minutes have elapsed.. so I don't think it will be too freaky if I play my trump card. Bye-bye. I step out.
This is what we used to do. We used to leave. For the first week the door might open on us 1 or 2 or 3 or maybe 5 times but whatever. This is what I want to get back to, right? The hard crying subsided pretty quick and within 5 minutes she was calmish. The door opened. I asked, 'May I come in?'. 'Yes' she says nicely and then she does agree with me it is time for bed. I escort her bedside but don't put her in. She flops her head and shoulders on her bed and looks sleepy. I briefly rub her back and wish her a good night. Then I retreat to the door. I am trying to depart. But relent. I lurk near the door, tell myself 10 minutes should do it. She is inching up into her bed one inch per minute it seems. In the ten she is up in bed, obviously comfortable and mostly in the seven mile stare.
My massive 37/4 preggo frame is bearing down on my crappy foot. It more than stings. I am dying to get out of there. I shift my weight. She shoots me a look. I smile and nod. I ain't afraid of you baby girl, I tell myself. I am a selfish mother
! I step toward the door bang on minute 10. Another look. I step out. She sleeps still.
Yay! ...... I think???
What do you think people? How long might it take doing this before we can just walk out again? I am still havin' her be the boss a'me with this sort of plan? Any tricks, tips? Should I put her in her bed or it better
for her to get in herself?
I'll share one tip myself. If you are going to take your kids crib away for another kid do it well outside of the last four weeks of your pregnancy. Better for everyone, of this I am sure. -- It probably isn't even the bed is it?